I’ve been doing some thinking lately…

I know, I know. I’ll try not to hurt myself.

 

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About myself, about B, about the meaning of life about how to start moving forward again.

The weather’s been a bit wild and B dropped a shoe, so things had to go a bit quiet on the blog because not a lot of riding was taking place.

With some clear weather coming back through, I lunged B yesterday to hopefully get us back on track (although more wild weather is imminent – send help plz).

 

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How riding feels in the current weather

 

I’ve been feeling pretty good about us lately, so it wasn’t some crazy emotional epiphany or anything, but when I was on the phone to my friend I realised something.

 

I have to stop waiting for everything to be perfect.

 

I’ve been struggling to find a dressage coach because all my prospects either have pretty fixed schedules I can’t fit into, or are too busy with Adelaide International and Wallaby Hill coming up.

My options were then:

  1. Wait for the big events to be over so they had more flexibility
  2. Trailer out to their place

 

My original preference was option 1. B is still a bit inconsistent at home, and I wanted us to be more confident as a unit before taking him somewhere new and then trying to get our act together with a new instructor.

I always find new instructors daunting.

 

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Circle back to the Shaun Dillon v. Simon Tainsh clinics which took place 10 days apart. One of them was the best clinic I have ever done and had us jumping 1m+, the other couldn’t get us over a 60cm apex.

 

But that meant trying to chip away together at home, and I feel our rides have become a bit stagnant. I need fresh eyes and new exercises.

And then I realised that option 1 was basically a summary of my biggest problem when it comes to riding. I always want to wait.

I want to wait until the weather is better.

I want to wait until we’re more consistent to go out and compete.

I want to wait until it’s perfect.

 

And therein lies the biggest con of all – because perfect doesn’t exist.

 

The people out succeeding aren’t the ones who are waiting for the stars to align and give them the perfect horse on the perfect day, they’re making it by riding the scattered horse consistently in every condition.

 

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“Sorry, I shan’t compete today it may rain” said no one ever. Also, this is B’s Connemara stallion pony friend Storm from a previous post. Isn’t he adorable?

 

I crap all over myself every time things don’t go to plan, or don’t line up how I wanted. I feel like a failure.

I feel even worse when I don’t do anything at all.

So I decided that failing at least means I have done something. Watch this space because I have our first lesson back booked in for Sunday, and in order to be ready we are going to have to ride through some pretty gross stuff!

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11 Comments

    1. So true! It seems to go past the point too though for me. Even when I think everything is going well I am always reticent to take the next step because… well… what if they don’t go well there? I can’t know so I won’t do it and in the process nothing ever changes.

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  1. Yeeeaaaahhhhh this one was a hard one for me because I never felt “ready” to show, or show a sale horse, or this needed tuning, and nothing would be ready, and yeah haha. You know what I mean. So I feel you. I’m excited to hear about the lesson! And anxiety about lessoning with a new person is real yo lol.

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  2. I keep having to have little pep talks with myself about how if I keep waiting for things to be perfect and for every obstacle to resolve itself… I’ll never get to do anything. But I want to do things too. So. Ya know. Just gotta get out there and make the things happen!! Hopefully the lesson went well 😉

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