It’s been a hot minute.
Things were going great guns… until they weren’t.
2020 has been a terrible fever dream, and having anxiety has really put my coping mechanisms to the test.
A great start to the year.
Work actually managed to get busier for me despite all the students being sent home from campus. It didn’t take long for everything to feel like it was piling up and I was barely keeping on top of everything.
Cue horse riding being the sacrificial lamb for slaughter in the world of time management.
I was working full days and running online meetings almost every night and still falling behind on lecture writing, my own grad cert assessments and the leg work for my impending PhD.
And things were going so well…
I don’t think I could have made another choice, but I regret it.
With horse riding cut from the time budget, my mental health went something like this…
… for the next week.
I pulled myself back together to try and ride on the weekend and my conversation with B looked a lot like this…
I worked him on the ground and he was completely sound, but his feet aren’t particularly strong and I didn’t want the foot to break apart further before we could get his feet done…
…And my farrier couldn’t get the job done until the end of the week.
I promised him there would be more jompies but I don’t think he believed me.
We finally got the feeties attended too and… he had a sore toot.
Not on the barefoot mind you, on the one that had stayed shod throughout the saga.
There was a nail that had been placed too high but had been pulled out and re-positioned before I picked him up, but this wasn’t enough to stop the petal from being sore for the next few days.
Cue us entering week 3 off before I hopped back on and had 2 really lovely rides despite the apparent drop in fitness. Like really, really unfit.
It was about this point that news started coming in about what was happening in the US, which broke my heart further.
I can never, never, hope to understand what is going on over there nor what has happened in the past, but I hope everyone is staying safe and the change that is so sorely needed finally happens.
The issues overseas have highlighted the complete lack of awareness surrounding the systemic racism with the Australian Indigenous people, but I am feeling like it is unlikely that the riots will cause a significant enough level of reflection to provoke any real change sadly.
The icing on the cake came with an incredibly unexpected and traumatic end of life situation with my friends horse on the weekend. He was a four year old stallion that was so lovely and talented and somehow within the space of me bringing in B to ride and putting him back in the paddock managed a complete compound fracture of his offside metacarpus.
Everyone was on site and we heard and saw nothing, but found him in the paddock and the image will forever be seared into my brain. There was literally no rhyme, nor reason as to how that level of trauma came about.
I stayed with my friends while they organised for him to be put to sleep and then helped them with the rest of the horses before returning home.
Someone may need to wake me up next year, I think we have all had enough now.